Wide Berth for Girth

I admit that when I walk down the aisle of an airplane, my hips bounce from side to side - much to the chagrin of the occupants of the aisle seats.

I believe this to be preferable to a crotch/ass dance down the narrow strip of lit runway by navigating sideways.

So while I understand the grimaces and snorts of disgust in this environment, I am dumbfounded by the double wide detour taken by non-fats who pass me in a hallway of the size found at local shopping malls or other high capacity facilities.

How much room do non-fats think I need?

Until my ass begins beeping when I back up or I become the size of a heavy hauler like those found in the Fort McMurray tarsands, the all clear-steer clear isn't necessary.

So why the added room?

Is it fear?

Are non-fats paralyzed by the possibility that, like the common cold, fat can be caught by contact? That given a chance, fat longs to escape onto greener, untested pasture in search of another willing host?

Non-fats, remain calm.

Unlike the rhinovirus, fat can't be caught because, believe me, if it were easily lost this way, you would find me at crowded gatherings everywhere.