Why do we have higher expectations of our children than of ourselves?

I'll set the scene:

Spouse claims they have no time to complete a housekeeping task with children running amok and about. Better half says "okay, in order for you to complete your housekeeping task, I will remove said children from the premises for three or more hours". Spouse says "great!".

Better half returns with said children, after the three hour time allotment has passed to find spouse on couch, watching TV and eating bonbons.

Spouse says "I just didn't get it done" because spouse knows if better half hears, "didn't have time", better half may explode.

Recognizing that no one likes housework (or at least, very few) and that momentum being as it is and Newton's laws of motion (an object in motion, remains in motion), isn't it easier to complete a housekeeping task than leave 20% undone?

Is this rocket science?

I think not.

Had your 16 year old child been admonished to clean the bathroom during a three hour period and you returned only to find the mirror still dirty, the 16 year old would be consequenced. Car priviledges, allowance would be withheld until the job was complete.

No arguments of "but I'm an adult or how much does it really get used/is it really dirty ", will suffice.

The child must do.

The spouse, if male, is simply congratulated, by women and other married males, for getting 80% done.

Can we expect our sons or daughters to do any better if this is their role model?

Why I hate recap shows

In reality TV land, recap shows serve the sole purpose of bringing people who haven’t been watching up to speed. I understand a network’s need to increase viewers but I, as a regular watcher, am completely annoyed at the anticipation and then, resulting agony from the recap broadcast.

The inclusion of “never-been-seen” footage is a lark because the outcomes: elimination rounds; tribal council; you don’t measure up; one day, you’re out; remain the same.

The only thing that, maybe, recap shows do is help you relive some of the stupid or poor strategy scenes a la Jamie, in Survivor: China and her use of the mistaken immunity idol after proclaiming to “not be a stupid blonde”. The editing for that episode was priceless.

Barring moments like that, recaps have no place and so I say, a pox on recaps and you should too.

Why a “Sex in the City” movie doesn’t work for me.

1. Time line
a. SITC was about dates and you could believe a bad date a week but a couple of hours of bad dates?
2. Fashion
a. SITC was all about the clothes and shoes. How many wardrobe changes can there be in a couple of hours that make a story line believeable or is it just about marketing?
3. Men
a. SITC copped out in the end by giving each woman a man. It would have made more sense and been more reality-speak if Carrie had gone manless/relationshipless in the end. Depressing but true. Once an asshole, always an asshole. Mr. Big might have made the grand gesture to another woman but not Carrie. It’s a Gone with the Wind thing.
4. Babies
a. Charlotte got her baby, maybe not biological but still where would we go with the kids? Do they inherit the fashion/metrosexual thing? Babies detract from the main storyline of the relationship of the women.
5. Life Changes
a. Introduce a baby to a friendship and it must change. Should one choose motherhood and the other, singledom or DINK status the world’s do NOT collide. Is it two hours of MNO?

6. It was, what it was, when it was.
a. SITC was glorious when it was on. It left at the height of it’s popularity and left us breathless and hoping for another funny, sexy, well written romantic comedy (weekly mental floss). The likes of which Desperate Housewives attempted to fill and did so successfully for one season. Four to five years of separation, us girls have grown up and moved on. Of course, we will all go see it or rent the DVD, just to dish.
7. Friendships
a. A foursome without two quarreling and/or gossiping about the other two, is simply not reality.
8. Where to pick up?
a. Miranda never got to do the “I told you so” about Petrovski. But that was the beauty of the ending.

What's it take to be an asshole?

What does it take these days to be an asshole?

Ever notice how most of our derogatory phrases for one another root themselves in the privates or unmentionables of the human body? Rarely is someone insulted by the phrase, ‘pistil” or “stamen” but we take pride in uttering asshole, dick, prick, pussy and that controversial “c” word. Lately, I have been thinking that the term, asshole, should be applied to the men, I have recently spied, wearing the following shirt slogans:

To the young man in Winnipeg sporting the 7 inches framed like the 7-11 store logo, I ponder “Is that all?” If you are going to put it out there, seven isn’t an impressive number.

His equally challenged companion donning the “Addicted to Porn”, I figure you will stay that way until you rid yourself of that shirt.
And finally, to the 30-something well-built man at my local gymnasium, forgo the urge to wear the “Need head” shirt and quite possibly, you won’t be so needy in the future.

Bend Over Educators

‘Cause you are about to get screwed.

Perhaps the government is hoping present day educators will have forgotten Klein’s early 90s five percent rollback because most of those affected are either retired or thanks to poor working conditions, in other fields of employment.

The predominately female occupation of education must instead demand fiscally responsible contracts that address the myriad of issues including proper financial compensation, classroom conditions and infrastructure necessities.

Accepting a five year deal without clauses that address these deficiencies can only be one step away from provincial bargaining and removal of principals from the collective agreement.

Don’t let Stelamch’s government buy your vote, educators deserve more.

CDN automobile repair shops

High tech car maintenance makes it out of reach for the average DIYer. Instead, I am at the mercy of my mechanic and while I want desperately to think he/she is honest, I feel like I am getting screwed.

Spamming is so over

My newest addiction is Facebook. I posted my profile shortly before my, gulp, 40th birthday and since then have accumulated 30+ new friends. Not realizing the Facebook ediquette, most came from poaching other people's friends but that hasn't stopped me.

I understand why many companies deny access during the workday. Friend Finder brings on a whole new way to waste time.

For those still forwarding the spiral of spam jokes, take time to post on Facebook and get yourself a new hobby.

Scam

Ever been scammed?

Recently, I had an experience that made my stomach turn. After my daughter’s performance for a theatre program, the camp director pleaded with the audience to give generously to a particular charity. Citing previous monetary donations and participation by recipients of the charity, two baskets were ceremoniously carried, church style, down each aisle collecting the unreceipted donations.

Once hoodwinked, the baskets came to the front whereby one of the two children exclaimed “look dad, 100 dollars from that man at the back”. His eyes alight with wonder.

It felt slimey.

But we gave anyway, under the watchful gaze of our daughter and the boy collecting the funds. We were, after all, in the front row. And there I sat, humiliated, having invited family members to the performance, only to have their wallets and senses assaulted by a very disingenuous request.

Later, I decided to pursue this odd feeling. First, I contacted the charity and then, upon further research, the provincial regulatory authority. There are rules about fund raising and solicitation. You, as a consumer and citizen, are protected it seems.

The charity, obviously wishing to avoid negative publicity, immediately responded with a “we’ll get back to you”. The provincial authority took my name and number and promised to investigate possible action and get back to me.

Upon more research of the company in question, I discovered they, had in the past, under a different corporate name, donated time and talent to the very same charity but there was no record of a corporate donation as suggested on that afternoon.

What was unsettling earlier had become downright fishy – a stench that even Febreez wouldn’t be able to deal with.

While I am out only a toonie, think of that individual who donated $100 in the belief that it was helping the needy.

Scam I say, Scam.

Where the money goes

Along with Kevin Donovan's Investigative series on Give and Take for the Toronto Star, I too am dismayed by the lack of an effective and efficient regulatory body for charities in Canada.

While there is an avenue for the private citizen to report questionable charitable organizations, there is pray little that can be done to stop the small time fraudulent behaviour of some third party solicitors.

As with many things monetary, buyer beware.

Toddler Travel

While seven years into this adventure, some call parenthood, I continue to learn new and what might be considered by others, basic things.

Travel clothes should be saved until the moment of departure. Placing them on said child beforehand with a stern restriction of "don't get dirty" is akin to putting Monica Geller in a messy room and admonishing her "not to clean".

And so, lesson learned.

As always, I plan and God laughs.

Wide Berth for Girth

I admit that when I walk down the aisle of an airplane, my hips bounce from side to side - much to the chagrin of the occupants of the aisle seats.

I believe this to be preferable to a crotch/ass dance down the narrow strip of lit runway by navigating sideways.

So while I understand the grimaces and snorts of disgust in this environment, I am dumbfounded by the double wide detour taken by non-fats who pass me in a hallway of the size found at local shopping malls or other high capacity facilities.

How much room do non-fats think I need?

Until my ass begins beeping when I back up or I become the size of a heavy hauler like those found in the Fort McMurray tarsands, the all clear-steer clear isn't necessary.

So why the added room?

Is it fear?

Are non-fats paralyzed by the possibility that, like the common cold, fat can be caught by contact? That given a chance, fat longs to escape onto greener, untested pasture in search of another willing host?

Non-fats, remain calm.

Unlike the rhinovirus, fat can't be caught because, believe me, if it were easily lost this way, you would find me at crowded gatherings everywhere.

Discovering you are a towel hog

If admission is the first step in any twelve step program then I must admit that I am a towel hog.

I used to think that my immediate call to room service, upon entering a hotel room, was merely an acknowledgement that the two bath towel allotment, for a double room, was inadequate for a family of four.

What I have since discovered, to my horror during a recent girls only spa experience, is that I, like John Candy in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, will utilize every available towel leaving my roommate a single scratchy face cloth to dry off with.

Calling not once, but twice, during our first evening confirmed my girlfriend's suspicision that I am a towel hog.

So to all those who baulk at the suggestion of a two towel limit at their local fitness facility, join with me in celebrating your inner hogdom.